Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I cockslap morals
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Even my vagina gasped.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
