So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just forgot I was standing up.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
