I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
