Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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