I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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