And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
