im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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