Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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