I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
