Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
