A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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