omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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