i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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