Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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