you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
