i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize