the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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