there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
