Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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