how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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