no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
