you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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