If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
