you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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