i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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