Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
