My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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