don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize