He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
