well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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