Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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