Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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