can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Randomize
