You work out of a Hotel?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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