After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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