we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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