I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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