the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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