So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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