i always forget guys have bellybuttons
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
