I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Pooping to opera.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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