im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
