I puked a lego.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
