Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
