That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
