He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
