So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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