it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
