we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
