i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
