I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
