I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
