wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
