dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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