the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
