I wish life had little blips of pornography
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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