Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
