I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize